Why Old Stories Keep You Stuck—and How to Release Them
Sometimes I ask for clarity, and the universe is very clear. It says in plain English, “This is what you need to do.” The message is unmistakable as I hear it from multiple people and see it demonstrated in “coincidences” all over my life.
I know it’s coming through me for my own highest good.
Why, then, can it be so hard to move forward despite these signs?
I know I’m not alone in asking this question. I see people going through it all the time. We agonize over our lack of clarity, but when the clarity comes, we don’t want to listen. We are afraid to move forward. It’s like standing at the edge of a bridge, knowing you need to cross but feeling your feet glued in place. The weight of an invisible past holds you back.
We shuffle the tarot deck and do the reading two more times despite receiving an answer, because we don't want to move forward. We ask our friends the same question repeatedly because we're hoping for a different answer. We begin to argue internally: “What does that mean? How could I possibly do that?”
If you happen to be in this exact situation right now, pause and take a moment to reflect.
Our stories act as the scaffolding of our lives, supporting us but also limiting how far we can grow. To shift, we need to examine the stories we’ve built and decide if they still serve who we are becoming.
Ask yourself this one question, and I promise it has the potential to shift everything: What is the old story I'm telling myself that's keeping me from moving forward?
Again, "What is the story you're telling yourself?"
If you’re arguing with clarity, there must be an old story you’re telling yourself that you don’t want to let go of.
For example, when spirit says, “Don’t be so afraid of your lover, just trust it!” and you say, “Trust it? Are you kidding me? That’s scary!” then there’s a story behind that fear.
Why is it scary? What happened the last time you trusted someone? Were you hurt? Did you vow never to trust again?
Common Shadow Stories
The stories we tell ourselves are survival mechanisms meant to keep us safe. For example, if you grew up in an environment where expressing emotions led to conflict, you might have developed a story that says, ‘It’s safer to stay quiet and keep my feelings to myself,’ as a way to avoid pain or rejection.
These shadow stories are deeply human. Everyone has them, whether they know it or not, because we’ve all navigated a world that asks us to armor up in one way or another. But safety often comes at the expense of growth, so it's worth it to review the stories we have set as our default.
Here are some common shadow stories that keep us stuck: Here are some common shadow stories that keep us stuck:
“If I trust people, I’ll get hurt.”
“I’m not worthy of success, love, or joy because I failed before.”
“It’s too late for me to change. This is just who I am.”
“I’ll be abandoned if I let down my guard.”
“I can’t let go of this because it’s all I’ve ever known.”
Do any of these feel familiar? Shadow stories like these aren’t “bad.” They once protected you. But as you grow, these stories can start to feel like heavy armor in a world that no longer requires constant defense.
Identifying Your Stories
Finding shadow stories takes courage. It requires us to pause and examine what lies beneath our resistance. Stories have space to surface and be seen more clearly, when we make an intentional space.
Each of these practices below helps bypass our rational mind’s defenses, allowing the deeper truths of your shadow stories to surface with clarity:
Journaling: Write freely without judgment or editing. Let the pen move without restriction and see what surfaces. Think of journalling as a quiet conversation with your soul. This is a space where your truths can gently surface to be heard.
Mirror Work: Look at yourself in the mirror and speak aloud. Often, hearing your voice helps bring the unconscious into light.
Talking with a Friend: Ask someone you trust to hold non-judgmental space while you share. Let them ask gentle questions to guide you deeper.
Find a private, safe place to sit down and spend some time identifying the story you may be telling yourself about your current challenge.
Questions to Ask Yourself:
What story am I telling myself about this situation?
How is that story protecting me from being hurt?
How is that story preventing me from new experiences?
How can I change the story so that I come out a winner?
How can I change the story so that everyone comes out a winner?
For example, if your story is "I can’t take risks because I might fail and that would be worse than death," ask yourself how that belief has protected you in the past and how it might be keeping you from something exciting now.
This doesn’t have to be a deep meditation. Your goal is, in fact, to connect with your everyday, talking persona, and the areas where your conscious self has put up natural boundaries to protect your inner child, your primal self, and your tender heart. These stories have been a form of protection.
Releasing Your Stories
Simply identifying a story is transformative. Naming it is like shining a flashlight into a dark corner—it may feel unfamiliar at first, but it’s no longer controlling you from the shadows. The more you look, the easier it will be to let go of the old story.
When you’re ready to release the story, begin with compassion. Thank the story for the ways it has protected you. Imagine your shadow story as a tattered, heavy coat draped over your shoulders. Feel its weight and notice how long you’ve been carrying it.
Now, picture yourself gently removing it. Fold it with love and set it down on top of a pile of donation items in your mind. Imagine wrapping your offering in golden light and offering it to the angels as a gift. As the angels take this gift and head into the light, trusting that the energy of your past experiences will be transformed into pure fuel for something beautiful in the future.
Take a deep breath and feel the lightness in your body. Visualize a glowing orb of light filling the space where the story once lived, radiating warmth, freedom, and possibility. Every time you release an old story, you reclaim a piece of your power, stepping into alignment with the version of you that is vibrant and free.
Ask yourself: What is the first step I can take to honor this new, lighter version of me?
The Unknown and the Path Forward
The unknown is not always comfortable. It can feel downright scary, leaving you vulnerable and exposed. But within that vulnerability lies possibility. The energy you free up from releasing old stories becomes available to create new ones.
Imagine the unknown as fertile soil. It may feel dark and uncertain, but it’s rich with nutrients, waiting for you to plant new seeds.
You are never alone in this process. You have the gifts of:
Breathing in Reiki life force energy to soothe your fears.
Affirming love within your heart as a constant source of support.
Allowing hope to carry you bravely forward, even when the path feels unclear.
In the End...
Your shadow stories are not your enemies. They are the guardians of your past, whispering where you’ve been and where you are still stepping into confidence. But your stories are not who you are.
Even if you feel afraid to release your stories, you can be with that fear and move forward anyway. I believe in you. I believe in your capacity to transform fear into freedom and resistance into possibility.
Are you ready to step into the unknown? Let’s do it together.
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© 2012 Dailey Little. You are welcome to reproduce this article provided you do so in its entirety, including the copyright and this blurb: "Dailey Little is a Reiki Master and active practitioner. She teaches Reiki & other fun stuff through her private practice in Santa Rosa, CA. Join her joyful community for ReikiShares, Free Clinics, and eco-activism by signing up at her website, www.SantaRosaReiki.com"
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